Today’s insight comes from David J. Schwartz’s book, The Magic of Thinking Big ((Schwartz, David J. The Magic of Thinking Big. 1959. Prentice-Hall))

David Schwartz lists five weapons that destroy your chance of success. They are:

1. Self-Depreciation
2. “Security-itis”
3. Competition
4. Parental Dictation
5. Family Responsibility

Self-Depreciation ~ I know that I have been guilty of that at times. While Mr. Schwartz defined this as not believing in ourselves, I have been guilty of not thinking that I am important enough to deserve success. I’ve always felt that I could do anything given the right tools, and enough time. Want me to teach a class on aerospace engineering, give me the materials, give me time to learn something about it, and I could teach anyone.

The thing that has killed my success in the past has been the belief that I didn’t really deserve it. A can-do attitude it isn’t enough. Have an I Am attitude as well. Tell yourself “I am worth it.”

2. Security~ Yes, I’m afraid that feeling of security has held me back at times, even more so than it did when I didn’t have children. But those risks have been financial risks. I haven’t been willing to risk large amount of money. But I am willing to take other risks. I am willing to risk embarrassment. I am willing to risk failure. I am willing to risk to succeed.

3. Competition ~ Fear that the competition will beat you cause many people to fail to try. Thankfully, that has not been something that I have had difficulty with. The most competitive event I tried for was the part of Clara in Ballet West’s Nutcracker. At this time I didn’t have the confidence I did now. I lacked faith in my ballet abilities.

For those of you who haven’t seen The Nutcracker Clara is the main children’s part. I remember audition day. There were hundreds of us in the dance room. We lined up and danced for the judges row by row. I was at the back and watched as girl after girl had their number called and be dismissed from the room. Our turn came. My number wasn’t called so to the back of the room we went. Again we danced and I survived another cut. I survived cut after cut after cut. Finally we were down to five girls. Me and four others. They had us dance. They talked. Then had us dance again. This went on a couple of rounds. Finally they called my number.

At this point I walked out of the room with gratitude that I had made it so far. I asked my mom if we could wait for a few minutes to see who got the part. A few minutes later four girls ran from the room with excitement. They had all made it. I was the last person cut. I then burst into tears knowing that I had come so close. I still believe that if I had more confidence in myself I would have gotten the part that day.

Even though I didn’t make it, just knowing that I tried and succeeded as I did was a success and a valuable lesson to a young child.

4. Parental Dictation ~ This is letting your parents dictate what we do. Thankfully my parents have always been supportive. They’ve encouraged each me and my brothers and sister to do what we loved.

5. Family Responsibility ~ This is the fear that comes with having a family you are responsible for. To often, people let that responsibility be an excuse for not even trying. However, I’ve seen people take unnecessary risks to achieve success. I’ve seen men that quit there job so they can pursue a fantasy that they hadn’t even prepared for. There is usually a way to still be fiscally responsible for a family and do what it takes to be successful. The key is not relying on what is comfortable and looking for excuses to not even try.

So how do you rate on these five success suicide traits?